Z is for Zombies and ten tips for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.

I am primarily writing this blog in relation to the standard reanimated zombie type that are best defeated by the standard method (see tip one).  Of course, this could be applied in part to other types of zombies.  Please note, these are tips only; and if you try to hold me responsible for my advice failing in the event of Zombie Apocalypse, I'll deny ever having written this.

I used no outside sources for this, beyond my extensive zombie movie watching.  I just wanted to see what I could come up with on my own.  However, I did get some topic ideas from two friends.  I have the ideas for "Clothing" and "Tools" from my friend Rich, who is the best of zombie experts.  I'd definitely want him on my team!  I got the "Booze" section idea from Amber, who also would be a solid choice for my team.  All additional information other than the topic was all me.  I hope you don't think it sucks! 

01.  Aim for the Head.
The old standard is kill the brain, and you kill the ghoul.  So, do not waste all of your rounds into the zombie's  chest.  Just plug him it in the head until it stops moving.  By all means, when it stops moving, stop shooting.  I don't care if it just slaughtered your whole family, doing one of those screaming and emptying of guns at it is going to do nothing than cause you to need to reload, while their are, most likely, other zombies there or on the way.

02.  Places to Avoid.
Other than sending in a heavily armed scavenging team to gain medication and supplies, You should avoid hospitals of all kinds.  Most likely, the first humans infected were taken to the hospital to either treat the wound, the infection, or both.  The hospital is filled with sick, injured, and dying people; making them vulnerable to attack.  With the close proximity of the patients, infection would work like a wave contaminating everything.  If the zombie type also reanimates the previously dead, then the morgue will work like a biological weapons, just waiting in the basement to infect everyone.  While the pharmacy and ER are tempting for supplies and treatment, it is going to be a zombie hot zone.

Generally, in these situations, there are three places most people will die.  The first is in the hospital.  The other two places are at home and in church.  Despite the feeling that this kind of event is exactly the time you most need to go to church, you should avoid it if at all possible.  Imagine a full church of people with one infected inside.  Moving pew to pew in that infectious wave.

Areas like apartment complexes and suburbs are also a potential hot zone.  People tend to group together with their loved ones in their homes when a crisis occurs, and that is the very problem.  It may only start with one wandering undead, but the problem is that the average person will wait until they absolutely have to act if one of their family members or even a person they know fro around the neighborhood becomes infected.  This usually results in the family taking the person in and trying to help treat the infection (potentially taking them to the hospital).  If they have not begun to take much physical damage, they may look more like someone who is very sick (especially if they have not fully zombified yet).  The worst issue is when the zombie is a child.  Nearly no one wants to admit that their child is becoming a monster, and even after they have turned into zombies, people will still try to protect them.  This sort of situation can easily go out of control. 

For the same reason, unless there is a verified cure (not just the promise of one), do not go to refugee camps.  For the same reasons listed above, refugee camps frequently become nightmarish hot zones.  All those people in such a small place, all it would take is one infected person to get the whole ball rolling.

03.  Don't stay put.
Even if you have a safe place that is difficult to break into, you don't want to stay locked inside.  Depending on the variety of zombie, they can sense the living, sees the lights, and hear the sounds you make.  This could result in you becoming so surrounded that you can't get outside if you need to.  Supplies run short, cabin fever sets in, and you've sat there long enough that they have totally cut off your escape. 

Go for a mobile safe house, big or small.  Motorcycles may leave you open to attack, but they are fast and easy to navigate on and off road, especially if there are abandoned cars and debris that may cut off other vehicles.  If you're going to go for a car, take an SUV or truck -- something with four wheel drive and off road capabilities.  They're also large enough that they can transport several people and supplies.  If there are open roads, a recreational vehicle may be ideal.  It is large enough to carry several people, offers beds and some bathroom facilities, and is built to store supplies.  The bad news is that they are not as fast as other vehicles, need a large area to navigate, can't go off road well, and though they do lock, their construction makes them less secure than a truck or SUV.  Tractor Trailers may seem ideal, due to being the closest you are likely going to get to a tank and that big area in back that could haul people, supplies, and could even be converted into a living area; but they also require they take a lot of gas, and gas may end up being a more difficult to find item as you may expect.

Don't forget our floating friends -- boats.  Now, when I say boats, I mean ships.  Don't try to row out in a little dingy and end up getting flipped into the water by zombies (Remember, dead bodies are very buoyant!).  That's just like chumming the water and jumping in with the sharks.  Of course, if you are near a harbor and you know anything about operating a boat, you can appropriate a yacht or similar ship.  Yes, cargo ships and battle ships may be a better option, but unless you have specialized training, you will probably fail to get it out of the harbor.  Besides that, we're back to the fuel issue.  It's much easier to take something that is lighter, faster, and can be sailed if it runs out of fuel.

If you are presented with the safe opportunity to acquire one, police cars are not a bad choice.  They are more secure than your average street car, and they may offer the chance of weapons, like rifles.  An ambulance would be a decent choice as well, since it is large enough to accommodate people and supplies, and it is most likely stocked with emergency medical items.  

When you have your mobile  safe house, you need to be careful where you go.  Large cities are a bad idea.  With all of those walking dead, they'll act like shark's at a diver's cage.  You may be mostly safe from attack, but you aren't going to be going anywhere.  The woods and rural areas are going to be better, because their should be much fewer zombies to fight.  They will also be worse, because it is an open area that will make you vulnerable, and in the woods and farming fields, zombies can approach without much notice.

04.  Kill your Friend.
 While I do not mean this as general option to bump off the friend that has always bothered you, I do mean that is a necessary option.  They're either one of us, or they're one of them.  Once someone is bitten, it's all over.  There is no point in wasting your time and resources when the ultimate result is your loved one turning into a zombie, who will most likely attempt to infect you and everyone else.  You may also wish to consider the idea that by doing this, you are saving your loved one from the standard death by fever (from the infection) and the unlife of zombiehood, where they will attack and kill the people they loved in life.  I know, I'd rather get a bullet.

05.  Clothing.
Start by ditching your dress clothes.  It won't matter how great you look in your new new dress and designer heels, when you are running for your life from zombies.  Dress like you are going hiking, because you probably will be.

Wear comfortable shoes that are best to run in; try to wear boots if possible (Doc Marten's!).  They will protect your ankles on an unstable surface, and in the event of an emergency, they are difficult to bite through.

Even though it is hot, avoid shorts.  Go with the pants.  They provide some protection from materials you might have to run though, and it is slightly more difficult (especially with jeans) to bite through.

Wear a belt.  A leather belt is best, since it is more durable than fabric.  The reason you want this, is  because you will have more places you can stow gear, like knives.  If you have access to something like a tool belt, your further ahead.  If you choose a tool belt though, wear another belt under it.  With the wait of the tool belt, your pants slip down (the cause of "plumber's crack).  You don't want to be hiking up your pants when you are running for your life.

Wear a lightweight shirt, as long as you are going to wear a jacket.  With all of the other gear, you don't want to set yourself up for heat exhaustion.  If you're downed, you're dead.  If you are unable or unwilling to wear a jacket, dress in several layers with your arms well covered.  Make sure the layers are easily removable.  One of the easiest areas to be bitten is the forearm.  If you dress in several layers, it will make it harder to bite you.  Also, by dressing in easily removable layers, if you are grabbed by your clothing, you can cute lose and keep going.

If at all possible, wear a jacket.  Any jacket is a help, since it offers some protection from and like the pants and shirts, it will be good if you have to run through debris.  Leather jackets are best.  They are very difficult to bite through.  They're also more difficult to pull aside, like a fabric jacket or hoodie might be.  Make sure it is something that can be closed to protect your chest and abdomen.  If at all possible, get a coat with a collar that can be raised to protect some or all of your throat.

If it isn't prohibitively hot, wear gloves, even if they are just the fingerless fabric kind.  Like your jacket, you should consider leather if you can.  Motorcycle gloves are even better.  They provide the safety of the leather, with the added safety of the metal supports.  These are ideal for everything for zombie bites, falling through debris, and protecting you in an accident (such as a motorcycle accident).

If you are in a cold weather region or you are a heavy sweater, remember to grab your cap.  Otherwise, don't worry as much about it, since it isn't really going to provide that much protection and could be an easy cause of heat exhaustion in a warmer climate.  If you have (safe) access to a military or law enforcement center, you could always use a helmet.  One of those bullet proof vests couldn't hurt either. 

As a final note, women, grab your bras.  It may sound stupid, but you don't need things flopping around when you are trying to run.  Men who have man boobs might consider the same thing.

06.  Tools Regular Kind.
Gather supplies like you were going camping, because you pretty much are.  Tents, tarps, coolers, knives, waterproof matches and even fishing poles are good choices.  Anything that aids in shelter and acquiring food is your friend.  The tent and tarps can be used as shelter if you are in a safe area.  The tarps can also be used to collect water from rain and dew if you are in a pinch.  Coolers are good for providing a longer (but not long) shelf life to food.  The knife can be used for protection, hunting (You may not find yourself so picky about your meat if you are prevented from using food.), setting up camp, and a myriad of other reasons.  Fishing poles are another opportunity to find food, if you are unable to get to any.  Waterproof matches are good for making fire of any kind, like campfires, torches, and Molotov cocktails.  It's all about surviving through it. 

07.  Booze is your best friend.
Alcohol is a friend of many skills.  First and foremost, it is a good way to settle nerves -- and everyone will be anxious.  Don't get drunk though, because it's not going to be much of a fight if your vision is too blurry to shoot straight, and you're too drunk to run.  It can also be used in first aid for all sorts of wounds, because it sanitizes so well.  It isn't going to sanitize a zombie bite, but it may keep you from getting an infection when you fall on a stump or broken glass while running wildly.  Perhaps the best option though, is the Molotov Cocktail.  A bottle of booze, those waterproof matches, and any wick material (like part of one of those shirts you're layering) gets you a fire bomb.  It may not kill a zombie, but it may distract them enough for you to get away.

08.  Dealing with THAT guy.  
You know who he is.  He's that one guy that always ends up in a well functioning group that throws everything off.  It may be that he's racist and doesn't want to deal with someone in the group (a la "The Walking Dead", it may be the guy that is eying that woman in the group and won't take no for an answer, or it may be that guy that refuses to accept that his loved one is infected and is putting everyone in risk  There are a multitude of guys (or gals) that are THAT guy, but you get the idea.  You can't have him in your group, or he's going to hurt people or hurt everyone. 

You really only have two choices.  The first is to let him stay with the group and try to find a way to work out the problem.  The hard part of that is that he is THAT guy for a reason.  He has a set in idea that will be difficult or impossible for him to be liberated of.  You can try, and may God have mercy on your soul. 

The second choice is to get rid of the guy.  This has to be handled carefully.  If you tell the guy he has to go, he may go, but it's possible that he will resent being thrown out; and if he has the chance, he's going to throw you under the bus.  If you go to a group where that is a meeting area of groups, and you tell him he has to go with another group, he is likely to resent it, and if he is going to throw you under the bus, he'll now have a group to help him. 

The other part of getting rid of the guy is getting rid of the guy.  If you have to kill him, make sure you kill him.  For the love of all things good, don't leave him for dead.  If you do and he doesn't die, he will not only resent you but hate you.  He's definitely going to throw you under the bus.  If you are going to leave him for the zombies, stay there to make sure the zombies get him.  Not only is it important for you to own your decisions, you don't want him to escape and have you in his sights.  To quote The Scissor Sisters, "I could bury you alive, but you might crawl out with a knife and kill me while I'm sleeping" that's why if you want the guy to die, make sure he does.

09.  Weapons of choice
Almost everything can be used as a weapon, but there are many things that are better choices.  Of course, the first thought usually goes to handguns, but there are many other options.  Rifles have a longer range than many handguns, and if you don't see as well, a shot gun may be the best choice.  You don't have to worry about the precision in aiming like you do with other guns.  Especially in closer quarters, you don't have to worry about doing more than pointing near the head. 


Guns are a great choice, but don't rely to heavily on them.  If your zombies are the kind that are attracted to noise, you can get yourself in a world of trouble, since the discharge of a gun can be heard a long distance.  The other problem is that your bullets may not last as long as you think they will, and it may be more difficult to acquire, since most people will think first of getting a gun.

Hunting bows and crossbows are also an excellent choice.  They can be used at a difference, and they don't have the sound that you get with a gun.  If your zombies are like those in some media and respond to sound, these make great weapons.  A little whoosh and thunk, and you're done. If you are going to make this choice, you might want to study your arrow choices.

Helpful tips on choosing your arrows.

Knives, swords, and other bladed weapons are the most versatile weapons, which can be used in close quarters, with minimal sound, and can be used over and over again.  Unless you have access to a sharpened sword, don't grab it.  You may be able to run a few through, but it's probably not going to go through a head (unless you get a lucky shot), and it is too heavy to carry around just in case you find a whetstone.  Hunting knives are great.  They're a good size and made to be used over and over.  Most stay sharp and are resistant to rust.  I have seen some that have a compass built into the handle end and a hollow hand to carry things like matches and fishing line.

Any type of lightweight knives and daggers are handy, but they will only be good in very close quarters; and unless you are very strong, it isn't going to take out a brain, unless you go through the ear or eye.  At all costs, you do not want to be that close to a zombie.  If you are that close, your face is only a foot or two away, your hands and arms are even closer, and you have to put your hand right in its face to attack.  I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to be that accessible to its mouth. 

If you have access to a military surplus store, and it is safe; you should find a nice selection of knives and also bayonets.  Bayonets are meant to be mounted on a gun, providing a secondary weapon if you can't, for whatever reason, shoot the gun.  You get range with your gun, and you have a bayonet if you need it.  Mounting it on your rifle will make it so that you don't have to extend your hand to the face to stab it.  As well, like the hunting (or survival) knife, it's possible to punch the blade through its skull, instead of having to go for open areas of the skull.

The only thing I like as much as the hunting knife, is the machete.  It is made to be light and sharp to be used over and over.  It won't break readily, and  it is incredibly sharp.  It's intended to be used to cut plants, such as clearing a path through heavy foliage. so chop, chop, chopping won't be so bad.  It is a solid enough blade to be able to punch through a skull without breaking, and it is sharp and long enough to behead a zombie.  This, if you have any possible way, is a must have item.

Knives should be plentiful.  You never know when you might lose a blade or snap it off.  You want to have back ups, even if they are small blades. They can be helpful, even if it is just a position where you have caught your coat in something, need to run, but don't want to lose the coat.  You want to arrange the blades around your body, because you don't want to be stuck, unable to get to your belt, when they are all there.  Distribute them through your arms, waist, legs, boots, etc.

Axes and hatchets are a great way to go!  They are sharp and heavy, which means that even if you aren't strong, you can probably deliver a good blow.  You can easily go through the skull with an axe (made to chop solid blocks of wood), and with a few swings (or one if you are really strong), you could behead a zombie.  Hatchets are like mini axes; they will not be as simple to use in head smashing, but they also don't weigh as much.  This can be good for people who are not as strong.  It also means that you will have less fatigue when you have to swing it over and over. 

Bludgeoning items are great.  These include, but are not limited to, baseball bats, large wrenches, tire irons, and rebar (scavenged readily from construction sites).  Simple and inelegant, they are used to bash in the zombie skull.  It can be used completely unskilled, it doesn't require good aim, and it can be used over and over.  The bad part is, if you are not very strong, you may have a more difficult time wielding it hard enough to destroy a brain.  If you use something more sturdy, like a tire iron or rebar, the weight will carry through to make it more effective, but it will cause fatigue, which is not something you want to have when you are surrounded.  If you are going for bats, aluminum is a good choice, for its resiliance.

Found items should never be ignored.  If you have a tool kilt you may have the heavy wrenches or claw hammers that will work just fine. Razor knives can also be handy for standard uses, like making shelter, cutting fishing line, and skinning animals. 

If you can scrounge up some ball bearings, you could make a slingshot (though having heavy steel or lead balls are more effective), but you aren't going to have an easy time with it.  If you don't have heavy enough ammo, you aren't going to go through the skull, and so you'll need the precision to go through the eye. 

If you have the good fortune to be on a farm or farming area, you can make excellent use of sickles, scythes, meat hooks, and similar items.  Farms are filled with things to cut with, and they are usually a good place to find at least one gun (usually a rifle or shot gun).

 Fire can be used as a deterrent, but it won't work for much longer than just to distract them.  Distraction can be the difference between life and death.  If you are lucky enough to have grenades or other explosive devices, if used well, it can blow the head off your approaching zombies.  However, it could be used well as a way to slow the zombies to give you a chance for escape.  If you throw it by the feet of a group, it can blow of their legs, and that will give you a distinct advantage in mobility. 

10. Supplies, supplies, supplies!

First, let's address your food needs.  You need to take as much as you can, without loading yourself down so much that you are slowed by carrying it.  Try to get enough to cover your basic nutritional needs with special consideration to proteins, carbohydrates, and sugars.  If you have access to fresh fruits and vegetables, grab some.  They are the best for you.  However, don't take any more than you can eat in two days.  Without proper refrigeration, you have a very limited shelf life (especially in a hot climate), and you will be just weighing yourself down with food you won't be able to eat anyway.

Canned food may be heavy, but it is the way to go.  Even if you are bothered by it, grab those canned meats, from fish to Spam.  You will likely not be so picky when you need that protein.  If meats are not available, nuts, beans, and some vegetables can be used instead.

Fruits and vegetable are key.  Don't be picky about them.  Canned yams and pumpkin pie filling may not sound tasty, but they have the sugars and vitamins that you may need later.  Make sure to grab your pound of salt.  One of the things you loose with dehydration (as you might get from running in warm or hot weather) is salt.  Lack of salt can cause issues like muscle cramping.  This isn't ideal when you are trying not to be eaten alive.  Beef jerky and candy can also be useful.  They're both safe to throw in your pocket, and they can help to keep you going if you don't have much else.  Of course, grab water -- as much as you can carry. 

Dry good like beans and rice are excellent, having nutritional elements, versatility, and a near limitless shelf life (if they are kept dry).  Coconuts are good for both their milk and meat, and if you cut them in half, the shells can be used as makeshift bowls.

On to our second group, which is medical supplies.  If you can safely get into a pharmacy, I have some suggestions for your stocking.  Stock up bandages of all kinds.  You will likely suffer injuries from zombies trying to grab you, trying to run from zombies, and your day to day mishaps.  Anti-bacterial items are a definite need.  Those handy dandy first aid kits that are ready packed should be picked up and given to each member of the group.  Alcohol is good and can be used for all of the things you do with the booze, other than drinking.

When it comes to medication, don't try to empty the whole place.  Try to stick to three groups; antibiotics, pain medication, and anti-anxiety medications.  Antibiotics will be necessary for all of those injuries that will be suffered throughout the mayhem; but you should not waste them on that infected person you don't want to admit is already gone.  He's gone; keep the antibiotics for the living.

Pain killers are another one that will aid in those injuries that are suffered, since you are avoiding the hospital.  Let's say that you are running for your life, and you land wrong, breaking your ankle.  It isn't a good idea to keep running on it, but if the zombies are coming, they will likely not care if you need rest.  Having some pain medication may be the difference between whimpering over your impending death and running for your life on that bad leg. If you have the chance, grab pain relieving patches (like Fentanyl).  Since you are fighting for your lives, you may find it easier to use a patch that lasts 2-3 days than you would taking a pill every four to six hours. 

Anti-anxiety drugs will be a necessity for most, if not all, people in your group.  You are watching your loved ones die, watching them get up again and try to kill you, and running for your life.  You will most likely feel yourself suffering from anxiety.  Anti-anxiety medication may be the difference between you handling the situation and getting away; or having a fit and emptying your gun into one zombie while screaming.  Also, you may have some difficulty sleeping, and sleep deficiency is not going to make you any more capable of getting through the situation. 

If there is anyone in your group that has a medical problem, make sure that you keep them in mind.  Grab the seizure medication or the asthma inhaler.  You don't want to be unprepared.  If you have some extra space, pick up some extra medication like those seizure medication, asthma inhalers, and shelf stable glucose (and needles).  Even though you may not need them, you may be able to trade another group for something you might need. 

As for other supplies, remember the tools section.  If you can get to the sporting goods store, grab the bags to hold water, the radio and flashlight that don't need batteries, and everything else you can.  Do not over pack.  You don't want to be killed, because you were weighted down with too much, but make sure you can get as many essentials as you can.